Bert’s Blog

Check out Branden, myself and others at a recent Tweetup event in Flower Mound.

I am amazed at the lack of common courtesy today, and wonder what happened to it? Simple things like “please” and “thank you” seem to have drifted from the English language for some people. Maybe it is the way my mother raised me, yet I have found those simple words can often turn things into a more pleasant experience. A better seat at a restaurant, or a glass of wine that is filled just a bit more. My motivation is not what it is going to get me; rather it makes me feels good about me.

Simple courtesies can bring a bit of joy to others as well. Try smiling more and genuinely care when you say, “How are you today?” In fact a neat response to try with this question is almost anything different than “Fine, how about you?” Try “outstanding” or fabulous”; then follow it up with a reason that you feel that way. For those who ride, you will appreciate this one. Peggy and I ride somewhere for coffee most Sunday mornings, and it is pretty cool how the Harleys in the parking lot and the riding clothes take that typical conversation in a different direction. After the traditional “How are you?” greeting, we might say, “It is a beautiful day, and we are out riding to enjoy it.” Then the response to us is something like, “Hey, where you guys riding to today?” One morning at a local Starbucks, the response was, “Man, I love you Harley riders! You are so proud of what you do, and that is so cool.”

Every day is what you make of it. You are in control of so many things that influence the way the day turns out. Try reaching out with that greeting first to someone who might not even make eye contact. I was listening this morning to a talk radio show. The hosts were talking about today being the eighth anniversary of 9/11, and how the entire country was so much more patient and courteous with each other after that horrible day. We were shocked, vulnerable, disheartened; and we started treating our fellow human beings just a bit better.

Let’s not depend on tragedy to make us more human. Take the time to extend yourself today. Shower your fellow human beings with common courtesy and pleasantness. I promise you that you will be smiling more by the end of the day. Life is too short………’Screw it, let’s ride.”

We are all so darn busy these days, that it presents a challenge when balancing all of our priorities. We all have the same 24 hours a day, and we all need to allocate the proper amount of that for sleep, for our career, and into the rest of that precious time we fit everything else into. For those of us who have dual career families, this presents even more of a challenge. We have to fit all of our required household and family duties into the remaining time during the week, and over the two days of our weekend. It gets really easy to try to cram so much into a short amount of time, that we lose that important break for ourselves. We need to fit in time for the “significant others” in our lives, our family and friends, and our overall health.

There is no right or wrong answer to this dilemma. It is a matter of determining what is right for you. What provides you the most joy, outside of all of the other things that we have to do? For some of us, it’s jumping on that Hartley and going for a ride, sometimes with the destination not clear in our head when we roll down the driveway. For others it’s sitting by the water with an interesting book. For still others it’s spending time out in the garden, or doing repainting, repairing, or improvements in our homes. Whatever provides that relaxation for you, you need to plan time for it routinely. I have seen the huge difference that trying to get a little bit better balance in life can afford you. Take the time to smell the coffee, or smell the roses, or smell the wonderful aromas of baking pastries. And for my dear Harley friends, “Screw it, let’s ride”.

When you wake up in the morning, what do you feel like most mornings? Is it a challenge to get moving, or are you cheerfully ready to start your day? It is amazing how this small attitude adjustment, can make a huge difference in how your day will go. Now I am not claiming that every morning when the alarm goes off at 4:45 AM, that I’m leaping from the bed and dancing down to the coffee pot, then dancing all the way to the gym for my morning workout. What I will tell you is that most every morning I have a positive attitude, ready to take on the day, and make the best of it that I possibly can. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it is learning to appreciate life even more after having several people that I know that got sick or died?

I was listening to a song from George Strait’s new CD this morning that reflected part of my thoughts today. The lyrics of the song talked about what we learn, as we grow older. He sings, “broccoli doesn’t taste all that bad, and swallowing my pride is not so difficult”. The chorus says, “Where have I been all my life”? Think about what you know about yourself, your family, your friends, and your coworkers today, and compare that to what you knew 20 years ago. Wouldn’t we all like to live life with the knowledge we have today having been infused into our brains at a much earlier age? Well, that’s not life. However, you can make that change happen faster if you embrace the positive aspects of your situation. It doesn’t matter how bad or crazy it can get, it can always be worse. Your attitude can make you ready to handle just about anything. And one of my favorite sayings these days, when somebody asks me how I am doing, is “I woke up on the right side of the dirt today, I feel great, and I’ve got my family and my wife. A great start to today”. So ask yourself, “Where have you been all your life”?

Good public speaking technique is something that you constantly need to work on. I have been speaking in public in non-sales situations for over 20 years, and it is amazing how certain words that you should not use can creep in to your language again.
The two most common speech pauses that we vocalize are “umm” and “you know”. These take away from the professional manner in which the information might otherwise be received, and might even reflect negatively on the speaker. I know that this can be perceived as shallow thinking, but welcome to life.
I sat next to someone recently who became so annoyed at how many times the speaker used the pause of “you know”, that he stopped listening to the talk, and started counting how many times it was used. Childish? Yes. Real? Also yes.
Why take a chance on being shallowly judged if these word pauses have crept into your speech style? Here is a trick I learned, and teach my students. If you need that pause in your talk to gather up a thought, say the pause in your mind and not through you voice. You will be surprised how different you will sound. If you have a hard time listening to your speech carefully when you talk, record yourself and play it back later. Getting these verbal pauses out of your talking voice will make a world of difference in how professional you sound. Good luck, and as the person recording the pauses said at the end of that talk….no, I DON’T KNOW!